Let me tell you what is not a good idea. Drinking straight Scotch for six hours, coming home drunk enough that you just want nothing more than to be sober, staying up until 5, awakening every hour or so worrying about having overslept, finally getting up at 8 and deciding to take a shower, only to find that the water heater is broken.

That is not a good way to start your day. I would know. Ever washed your hair with water so cold you couldn't help holding your breath and arching your back? (Probably... lots of people have busted water heaters or something like that at least once in their lives, but I'm whining here.)

The best part is that I have a Spanish test, an important one, at 11:00 this morning. At least I've already studied. I do need to look back over my notes, but I'll be okay even if I don't. Oh, the other thing not to do is smoke three cigarettes if you're not a smoker. I did, and now I feel like an elephant is standing on my chest.

I think it's time once again to take a break from debauchery. Maybe until I can drink with Curtis. I hate waking up inebriated. Going to bed that way is fine. Having to face the world... I'm not excited. I need to do something to settle my stomach. Dry Cheerios, perhaps. Bah. I feel so typical-college-student. But I did have a wonderful time... it was my last bonding experience with the Emerson and Thoreau crowd, and it was amazing. I felt more comfortable with them than I ever thought I could... I mean, as they introduced me to friends of theirs who happened to come into the bar, I actually initiated conversation with a couple of them. Amazing.

All right, I think the time to start the guerrilla sobering-up process is now, so it has more time to work. Chocolate coating makes it go down easier. You gotta wait an hour for full potency. And don't go in swimming afterwards for... what, half an hour? Half an hour.

Or maybe I should just try the barrels-of-water method that Fezzik uses on Inigo. Except I couldn't have any hot water because the water heater's broken. I can't win.

Dry Cheerios, here I come.