I'm feeling all weird and shaky and weird. I know why, I think. Three reasons. One is regret. About the Spanish class I just finished. We had three tests over the course of the semester... we got to drop the lowest grade and replace it with the final, if we wanted to. The first test just shocked the hell out of me... it was way harder than I'd expected, plus I had mono at the time and could barely drag myself to class to take it. I excuse the grade I got on that one. The second one... same deal, kind of. I studied a lot more, but it still surprised me by being really hard. I got a 78 on that one, and I wasn't too upset. But the third test... the one we had on Tuesday. I ought to have spent the previous evening studying my tail off. I studied some on Monday, but then I went out to dinner with the Emerson and Thoreau kids and stayed out until 1:30 drinking and then came home and spent hours on the phone with Curtis, and I ended up taking the test on an upset stomach and about two hours of sleep. That one was my fault. So no matter how well I did on the final yesterday, I'll get a lousy grade and it's my fault. I hardly ever regret things, but I regret that.

The second reason I feel crummy is that I'm about to go take my Shakespeare final, and I really really want to do well on it and I'm not sure I will. Simple test anxiety. I'll go do my best and that's all I can do.

The third reason is that Curtis hasn't emailed me since he left for Mayfest. Half of what bothers me about that is simply that I want to hear from him because I miss him, and it makes me sad to open my email and find nothing from him. The other half of what bothers me about it is that I can't seem to stop mumbling to myself that I really shouldn't care one way or the other and I should be more self-sufficient than this and all that sort of stuff. But actually, I think that feeling sad is perfectly reasonable, and there's no reason I should kick myself for it.

I've lost a few more pounds. I guess that thing you always hear about your body hitting a plateau is really true... I had hit one for about a month. It was fun yesterday, realizing that the pants I had bought just a month or so ago were just a little too big. That's the downside of losing weight, I guess... I now have two pairs of pants that used to fit that are now so big they look ridiculous. Oh well. I'm going to go put on my new skirt and be a hippie for the day. And maybe I'll end up being a Shakespeare queen.